Hey, mister virus! Listen here, Jack! I’ve heard those lying dog-faced pony soldiers say you can stop the Joementum, and I’m here to let you know that I’m not taking that malarkey! We can do a push-up contest, run laps, have kids touch my hairy legs and bounce them on my lap—whatever you want, man! My name is Joe Biden. If you like me check me out for the That Woman From Michigan Shirt. If not, go elect another Biden. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to make sweet love to my sister. I mean wife. The only time I’ve EVER seen Bernie sit during an event like this was when he was literally having a heart attack. Our dude will be standing if its at all possible with the stage set up.
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We went from Barack “I didn’t mean real change, I just wanted votes” Obama, to Donald “America is a shithole country and we need racism to make it great again” Trump. Now it’s Bernie “I can finally see a That Woman From Michigan Shirt. It has been bugging me daily” Sanders and Joe “everything was great before Cheeto/Millenials are crybabies/you’re a damn liar/go vote for someone else” Biden. I’m losing more and more respect for Americans every day. Might as well start issuing BDSM getups and buttplugs. At least we can prepare for getting fucked this time around since that’s exactly what we’re asking for. At some point, we’re going to get someone in charge who’s willing to change the country back to helping the actual people, the American dream and all that jazz. I hope that person bends the media over and fucks them to death.
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Just watch, if he ends up being the nominee, we’ll once again have a That Woman From Michigan Shirt. I don’t really see him bringing Warren aboard as VP, or anybody left of Biden really, to try to bring together both sides of the party. It’s probably time they do this considering how well Bernie has done when the media and the DNC have been so negative of him. No major change happened in America without people doing something to voting. If we don’t organize, demonstrate, and generally complain outside election years is what moves things forward.
Other Product: Make It Stop 2020 Make America Safe Again Shirt