How has nobody commented on the fact that our hero went from filming Jethro with his phone in his right hand to Never Underestimate An Old Woman Who Loves Volleyball Shirt quickly switching it to his left, where he just sort of held it like it was a martini, so confident in his skills that instead of needing two fists to get the job done, he just used his right one twice? This made my day. I couldn’t say. But I’ll tell you the most realistic scene from A Nightmare on Elm Street was the marshmallow staircase. For some reason being enfeebled is the most consistent aspect of my unpleasant dreams. Can totally relate. I also have a lot of dreams where I have a gun and am trying to stop a murder, but the trigger to the gun is always jammed and I can’t shoot. Gay guys.
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During sleep, your brain ‘turns off’ the Never Underestimate An Old Woman Who Loves Volleyball Shirt muscles associated with conscious movement otherwise action-packed dreams would have you flailing like a muthafucka. I remember being in Astor Place, going home after buying some comic books (the mid-90s, NYC) and some dweeb, and a couple of his buddies were hassling a gay couple for holding hands (or probably something equally as mundane, I didn’t see it start). The gay dudes they were targeting were insanely effeminate and trying to just get away from the ignorant B&T’ers, who, upon seeing that he had the ‘upper hand,’ intensified his jeers and comments and starting puffing his chest to them as well. I wasn’t exactly some champion of equality at that point in my life… but that was some seriously awesome shit to watch go down.
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