Yes. This. When I was an If I Ever Say Do You Want Me To Be Honest Say No Shirt pregnant, I was celebrated and supported. However, when I had my miscarriage they behaved like I was never pregnant in the first place. It was never talked about. As you said, it’s a double-standard. As others pointed out, people don’t normally value grief. I assume this is because it no longer supports their agenda, which is screwed up IMO. Grief is real if you experienced it to miscarriage, abortion, etc and it is very hard to find support groups for these kinds of things due to reasons pointed out in these posts.
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My suggestion is to an If I Ever Say Do You Want Me To Be Honest Say No Shirt spread awareness of this double-standard and research local grief support groups for those that need it. It has helped me through this and I hope it helps others as well. Having just gone through a miscarriage, I’ve had some extended family ask why I’m still grieving. I’d never ask that of them if they’d lost a loved one, or tell them “Everything happens for a reason!” if they had a family member pass. All the while, I have to go to work, be happy, congratulate others on their pregnancies, and not talk about the loss, even though it’s on my mind all the time.