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I used to work at a rollercoaster at a Funny Easily Distracted By Anime Video Games And Food Shirt theme park and when we check kids’ height and the kid misses the 54” requirement, the parents say “it was 48 inches last year.” Well, I’ve worked here for three years so that must have been my day off. My theory is that theme stress comes from two primary sources. I usually send the kids off to school for 6 hours a day, I go to work, and then we hang out for a little bit before its time for bed. Now, we’re spending 24 hours a day together in a tiny single room and I can’t escape. I’m paying an exorbitant amount of money for the privilege of point 1 so we’re going to have fun whether we like it or not. Bonus, if the theme park is in Florida… it’s probably also 9000 degrees.

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Would also be the first one to sue if the Funny Easily Distracted By Anime Video Games And Food Shirt ride injured their child. They don’t love them enough to not take the risk of mortal injury. But they love them enough to turn on the waterworks for a payout from the amusement park. A few years ago at a place near us. A child died because someone let him on a ride and he was too small. They ended up tearing it down. I told my kids that story the other day and told them.

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